The Worst Salad I've Ever Ordered...

So I went out with some girlfriends the other night.  We met up at a popular Mexican place for some conversation, pina coladas (funny, none of us ended up ordering them...), and late night dinner.  The place has a really delightful table-side guacamole cart, where you can custom order your guacamole, and then enjoy it with warm (if you ask for them to be warm) tortilla chips.  It was late, and although I was hungry, I can't eat really heavy food so close to bedtime, so I decided to order on the light side.  This is what I ordered:
Grilled Fajita Salad - Grilled chicken over a bed of lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers and cheese. $7.95
Now I want you all to put on your thinking caps, and take a moment to imagine what this meal might look like to you.  Have you done it?  Oh, how I wish I had brought my camera (or had an iPhone) so I could have photographed what came to my table when dinner arrived.  You'll just have to take my word for it.
The waiter brings me a large and pretty (still hot from the dishwasher) plate.  At first glance, I thought, "oh, just another mediocre salad".  Then, I glanced again...

Tiny, miniscule shreds of lettuce (like the kind you put on a fish taco) - if I had to count how many shreds covered my 10" plate, I would say probably about 100.  That's not that many when you take into account the shreds were the size of blueberries.  Seriously, I could barely get the prongs of the fork to stab the lettuce.  Maybe that had something to do with the fact that since my plate was so warm, the lettuce was a little warm too.
Next came the chopped tomatoes, probably the best part of the salad.  That's all they were (again, imagine a topping for a taco).  Nothing more, and certainly nothing less.
Then there came the sprinkle of that "yummy" Mexican plastic-y white cheese.  Mmmmm.  Nothing like lukewarm plastic cheese on top of lukewarm lettuce and tomatoes.

Then came the cucumbers.  I use the plural term of cucumbers lightly, because there were four tiny (and very warm) cucumber slices.

THEN....I caught a tiny carrot cube on my fork, and thought, "hmmmm...that's strange."  COOKED CARROTS PEOPLE!  They weren't warm (thank the heavens above), they were frozen carrots, thawed and put on top of my yummy salad.

The kicker?  The grocery store brand plastic packet placed by dirty fingers - not on the side - right on top of the salad. 

Hilarious people.  This salad was so bad, it was hilarious.  And the best part about it?  3 of the 5 of us ordered it!